In The Stillness by Andrea Randall Review

6 beautiful heart-wrenching stars

From GoodReads:

"Natalie is a wife.

Natalie is a mother.

Natalie is a cutter.

Clawing at walls built by resentment, regret, and guilt, Natalie cuts as an escape from a life she never planned. 

Staying present is only possible when you let go of the past. But, what if the past won't let go?"

My Thoughts:

"'I exist. Right?' The blood rolling haphazardly down my left forearm says I do."

In The Stillness is hands down, THE best book I have read in at least the past year, and definitely one of my top 3 overall.

It is a book about overcoming pasts, grieving over parts of your life you lost, opening yourself up to a different future than you wanted, and moving on in any possible way that your mind and body will let you. It is a story about love lost, internal and literal wars, and gaining the strength to walk away from things you never wanted to. It touches on so many intimate topics, such as cutting, divorce, motherhood, and PTSD. I cannot speak from personal experience on the topic of cutting, but I can tell you that every single emotion that Natalie feels when it came to 9/11 and the military aspect of this book is dead on. It is impossible to read In The Stillness, and not emotionally connect with Natalie through every part of her life. The understanding will come from anyone, wives, mothers, military families, tortured souls, the heartbroken, and anyone who has turned to self-harm for a release. At any given point in Natalie's heart-wrenching life, there is a reader out there, who is saying "I've been there, and my god, it sucked, it sucked so bad.. and I feel for you right now."

Natalie has an extremely heartbreaking past, and is currently living a life that she can no longer handle. Previously, during the events of her treacherous life, she had turned to cutting. It has been years since she has even entertained the thought of cutting again, until everything seems like it has fallen out from under her. She is more than overwhelmed as a mother to her twins, resenting a husband she never saw herself actually marrying, and carrying so much guilt that she turns to her old ways of cutting again. She needs an escape, and this is the only way she knows how.

"Just a little. Just one more time."

When she finds her past is closer to her than she ever imagined, she realizes it's time to try to face it, try to overcome it. She never knew how hard of a battle she was really fighting, until it is right in front of her face, 10 years later.

"'I'm fine, just leave me alone,' I barely make out as I start sobbing with my forehead on my knees. It's the single biggest lie I've ever told."

The blurb to this book barely gave anything away. I'm not going to give more than I already have about the book itself. No matter how I explain this book, it will not, and cannot, do justice to the amazing story I have just read.

What I will tell you, is that I had to put In The Stillness down, at least 8 times, because I could not see through the tears in my eyes. My heart broke over and over and over again throughout the first half of this book, and started to mend itself during the second half. This is not a book you want to crawl into and live. No. This is a book where you want to climb into the pages, and hug EACH and EVERY one of the characters involved and tell them that everything is going to be okay, that it's not their fault, that these things happen, and now it is time to work on loving themselves again.

Read it, go out and buy it right now, you will not be sorry. It will be the most heartbreaking, and beautiful roller coaster ride you have ever taken.

Quote that gave me chills:

"Heroes don't always wear capes, badges, or uniforms. Sometimes, they support those who do."

Losing Hope by Colleen Hoover Review

**IF YOU HAVE NOT READ HOPELESS DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW**

Instead, read Hopeless, immediately.

Here, I'll even help you, you can get it riiiiight.. HERE.

THEN.. when you're done with it, come on back to this post :)

6 GINOURMOUS Stars!!!! (can I give 7? how about 10?)

I liked this book, I LIVED this book, I absolutely loved this book.

From GoodReads:

"In the follow-up to Colleen Hoover’s #1 New York Times bestseller Hopeless, the charming and irresistible Dean Holder tells the passionate story that has melted thousands of hearts.

In Hopeless, Sky left no secret unearthed, no feeling unshared, and no memory forgotten, but Holder’s past remained a mystery.

Still haunted by the little girl he let walk away, Holder has spent his entire life searching for her in an attempt to finally rid himself of the crushing guilt he has felt for years. But he could not have anticipated that the moment they reconnect, even greater remorse would overwhelm him…

Sometimes in life, if we wish to move forward, we must first dig deep into our past and make amends. In Losing Hope, bestselling author Colleen Hoover reveals what was going on inside Holder’s head during all those hopeless moments—and whether he can gain the peace he desperately needs."

My Thoughts:

For me, Hopeless was one of those books that I could not put down until it was finished, seriously, I read it in a day. It is still definitely one of my top 5 books, one of the very best ever in the whole wide world.

However, Losing Hope, completely one-upped my love of Hopeless, and I wasn't sure that was even possible.

This is not a typical "same story/different POV" book, do not be fooled, it is FAR FAR more than that. Losing Hope takes you through ALL of Holder, from Les' suicide forward, to when he thinks he sees Hope in that store, from every heart wrenching discovery, to every amazing moment, and on to a perfectly beautiful ending (and more to the ending that we didn't know in Hopeless!). So no, this is not just a different POV, it may be the same story, but it has never been shown like this, and there is SO much more added to it.

This is Holders story, through and through. This is HIS book, the story from Hopeless wasn't completely the main focus, Holder is. It starts with the day before Les commits suicide, and continues from there. The effect of Les' death on Holder is what defines his entire story. We watch him go through every stage of grieving, and how he tries to move on from it all.

"I want her to know how her selfish decision affected me. How hopeless she left me. Literally hopeless. And completely alone. And so, so incredibly sorry."

I want to say almost the first 40% of the book was basically a never-before-seen part of the story. It is all Holder coping with Les' death, what really happened with the fight that had him living with his dad, how he really ended up back home with his mother, etc.

Interlaced through the whole book, Holder is writing entries to Les in a blank notebook he had discovered in her closet. 

"I'm sorry, Les. I'm so sorry I let you go on pretending that you were okay when obviously you were so far from it."

Holders inner struggle with everything going on is absolutely heartbreaking. Writing to Les is helping him deal with her death, as well as comprehending the thought that he may have found Hope again, meanwhile, meeting Sky is helping him cope with the loss of Les. But, at the start, losing Les, leaves him practically re-living losing Hope.

"Every single thing I think or see or do or say reminds me of Les. Then every single time I'm reminded of Les, it leads to thoughts of Hope. Then every single time I think about Hope, I'm reminded of how I let them down..

..I sure as hell feel pretty fucking hopeless right now."

One thing that I adored about this book, was Daniel, Holders best friend. He is amazingly loyal, and absolutely hilarious. I loved his part in Holders healing, and how much he was there for his best friend. The banter between Holder and Daniel adds a perfect break from the seriousness of this book, kind of how Six added to Hopeless. 

"I could act all pissed off and walk in front of you like a bodyguard, even though you're bigger than me. And if anyone tries to approach you I'll punch them in the face. Please?"

Can I also throw out there that I am in LOVE with the fact that Sky/Hope is reading SLAMMED to Holder?! 

I cannot possibly do this book justice in a review. The only way you will truly feel the massive book-hangover I will be suffering for the next year is to read Losing Hope for yourself. As much as I loved Hopeless, I can definitely say that I loved Losing Hope even more. The "gasp!" factor may not be there for the main story, after already knowing the twist from Hopeless, but let me tell you.. there are even more "GASP!!!!" moments that we were not aware of in Losing Hope.

Yet again, Colleen Hoover, you have delivered a book that deserves EVERY SINGLE 5 star review, facebook post, tweet, and "I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!" that I'm sure have flooded your feeds since the first ARC was released. I can not wait to read what is to come from you next!!

Quote that gave me chills:

(one of.. because god knows there were a million..)

"My heart feels heavy and my mind even heavier as the pieces of the puzzle slowly begin to fit together, right down to her name. 'The sky is always beautiful...' "

Hopeless by Colleen Hoover Review

6 Stars! 6 of them! SIX HUGE STARS!!

From GoodReads:

"Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of just one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past that she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever."

My Thoughts:

Hopeless falls into the "I read this before I started the blog" category, so this isn't so much a review as it is me SCREAMING to all of you to go read this book. RIGHT. NOW. (if you haven't already)

It's no secret as to how much I absolutely adore Colleen Hoover's books, writing style, story ideas, everything.. and Hopeless is up there with Slammed for me. Both of which are in my Favorite Books EVER category.

I was sucked in from the prologue, and had NO clue where this book would take me. I absolutely love a major twist, and Hopeless has the mother of all twists. It's amazing, beautiful, heartbreaking, ugh GOD I love this book. 

But, in keeping up with my new "posting a favorite quote from each book", here is the quote that stuck with me from Hopeless. The quote that gives me chills to this day even thinking about it..


Quote that gives me chills:

"The sky is always beautiful. Even when it's dark or rainy or cloudy, it's still beautiful to look at. It's my favorite thing because I know if I ever get lost of lonely or scared, I just have to look up and it'll be there no matter what...and I know it'll always be beautiful."

Now.. the main reason for this blog post.

LOSING HOPE COMES OUT AT MIDNIGHT!!!!

"In the follow-up to Colleen Hoover’s #1 New York Times bestseller Hopeless, the charming and irresistible Dean Holder tells the passionate story that has melted thousands of hearts."

I could not be more excited, I have already heard nothing but great things about Losing Hope from those who have received ARC's, and I can not imagine it being anything but amazing!

If you haven't pre-ordered it yet, here is the link:

Losing Hope